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Life on the Floor: Adventures of a Well-Trodden Rug 

The Rug Chronicles: “A Day in the Life of Me, The Overworked Underfoot Hero” 

Let me introduce myself: I’m Rug.

Not "the rug," not "a rug," just Rug. I reside here, smack dab in the middle of the living room, the epicenter of chaos, drama, and occasionally, spilled orange juice.

I started my life pristine, plush, and full of ambition—a showstopper at the rug store. “You’ll be the centerpiece of someone’s home,” they told me. “The kind of rug that pulls the room together.”

And for a while, it felt like I had fulfilled my destiny. But let me tell you, the reality of life on the floor isn’t all soft fibers and sunshine.

Morning Mayhem

Every morning begins with a stampede. The humans (all five of them) scurry around, spilling coffee and stepping on me with socks that—let’s be honest—should’ve been retired weeks ago.

I’d sigh if I could, but alas, I’m voiceless.

And let’s not forget the dogs. Oh, the dogs. There are three of them, and they think I’m some kind of personal playground. One of them, I believe his name is Max, insists on rubbing his belly on me like I’m a spa treatment. Do I get a thank-you? No. Just fur. So much fur.

The coffee table, my so-called “ally,” never helps. It just sits there, looking smug. “At least they don’t sit on me,” it mocks. As if my sole purpose in life is to catch crumbs and endure paw prints. If I had eyes, I’d roll mine right now.

Afternoon Adventures

Around lunchtime, the baby enters the scene. Oh yes, the baby. A small human tornado with sticky hands and an uncanny ability to throw food at a range that defies physics. Yesterday, it was mashed peas. Today, it’s spaghetti. I’ve stopped guessing what it’ll be tomorrow—it’s always something un-vacuumable.

But the worst offender?

The dad. He claims to clean me. You know, with that loud, obnoxious vacuum cleaner that seems more interested in making noise than actually picking up the junk embedded in my fibers.

“You missed a spot,” I’d say, if I could speak, as he half-heartedly drags it over me. Sometimes, I feel like he’s just waving it around for show. The crumbs laugh at him. I do, too—internally.

Evening Escapades

Evenings are when things really get interesting.

Movie nights sound fun in theory, but for me, it’s just an avalanche of popcorn, soda spills, and the occasional dog fight over a squeaky toy.

And the humans?

They plop themselves down on the couch, completely oblivious to the mess they’re creating. “Oh, don’t worry, Rug will catch it,” they seem to think.

Newsflash: I’m not a superhero. I can’t just absorb everything.

Speaking of the couch, let’s talk about that diva for a moment. Couch thinks it’s the royalty of the living room. “I support them, literally,” it brags. Sure, but who stops the crumbs and dirt from ever reaching your precious cushions?

That’s right—me. I’m the unsung hero here, Couch. Remember that.

Hobbies and Dreams

You might think I don’t have hobbies, but you’d be wrong. I enjoy quietly collecting secrets.

That argument the parents had about the thermostat? Heard it.

The teenager sneaking snacks at midnight? Witnessed it.

The dog hiding its chew toy under the armchair? Yep, I was there. You’d be amazed at what you can learn when you’re constantly overlooked.

As for dreams, well, I dream of a day when I’ll be cleaned properly, admired for my intricate patterns, and maybe, just maybe, left alone for five minutes. Is that too much to ask?

A Rug’s Dream: A Return to Luv-A-Rug

But if I’m honest, when I dream at night, it’s not just about being cleaned or admired—it’s about going back to Luv-A-Rug.

Ah, the paradise of rugs.

The ultimate retreat. I went there once, years ago, when the humans decided I was looking “a little dingy.” They called it a “cleaning,” but I call it my two-week spa vacation.

Imagine it: being gently lifted off the floor (no feet, no fur, no crumbs for days!), rolled up, and whisked away to a magical place where rugs are treated like royalty.

At Luv-A-Rug, I wasn’t just a functional piece of decor—I was a guest.

I soaked in luxurious baths that cleansed my every fiber, felt the expert hands of professionals who cared about my patterns and textures, and, best of all, I got to hang out with others like me.

We’d relax in the drying room and swap stories.

There was a regal Persian rug who regaled us with tales of its days in a palace. A bold shag rug with neon colors reminisced about its time in a 1970s basement disco. Even the utilitarian door mats had fascinating anecdotes about enduring torrential mudslides and surviving winters on porches. 

It was like a support group for overworked rugs, and let me tell you, we laughed, we bonded, and we empathized.

When my time at Luv-A-Rug was up, I returned home feeling like a brand-new rug. My colors were vibrant, my fibers fluffed to perfection, and I swore I for the first time in a long time - completely odorless.

For a while, I really believed I’d achieved rug enlightenment—until the toddler spilled grape juice on me, and it all started over again.

Oh, how I long to go back. Just the thought of reclining in the company of others who truly understand the trials of life on the floor fills me with hope. Another trip to Luv-A-Rug would rejuvenate me, restore my confidence, and make me feel just like I did when I first arrived in this home: pristine, hopeful, and ready to take on the world (or at least the living room).

So, dear humans, if you’re listening—and I know you aren’t—how about it? 

A little getaway for Rug?

I promise I’ll come back ready to face whatever life throws at me: spaghetti, mud, or even Max’s belly rubs. I’ll be the best rug you’ve ever had. 

Just send me back to Luv-A-Rug. I deserve it, don’t you think?

Dusty Roberts

Luv-A-Rug Team Leader


Stephen "Dusty" Roberts is one of the most experienced and qualified area rug carpet cleaners in Canada.   He has completed the Master Rug Cleaner program with the Oriental Rug College Program, he is a Senior Fellow of Academy of Oriental Rug (AOR), is IICRC certified, and Wool Safe Certified.  He is an Industry Speaker at conventions, Rug Cleaning Trainer and Business Coach. Dusty has traveled all over the USA and to Australia, England, Turkey and many other European countries learning and teaching about area rug history, identification and proper cleaning.  He is also a noted oriental rug appraiser.  Discover more about Stephen "Dusty" Roberts at our About Us Page